Canada Changes Name of Mar-a-Lago to ‘Casa Epstein’

This is satire.

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney on Thursday declared that Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club would henceforth be known as “Casa Epstein.” This, according to Carney, is meant to reflect the friendship between the US president and deceased sexual predator Jeffrey Epstein, and the fact that his most prominent victim was recruited from the resort.

Most importantly, the prime minister explained that this is supposed to serve as a warning to Canadians visiting Florida.

“The term ‘Mar-a-Lago’ doesn’t adequately communicate that this club is run by a man who has been found liable for sexual abuse, has bragged about assaulting women, and was friends with a notorious sexual predator,” Carney stated. “By listing the property as ‘Casa Epstein,’ we hope to protect Canadian women from having their genitals grabbed by the resort’s owner.”

The prime minister noted that all evidence indicates that the US president was aware of his friend’s crimes, which makes the name change even more appropriate.

“Come on, more than 20 years ago, Trump said that Epstein was ‘a lot of fun to be with,’ and that he likes his women ‘on the younger side,’ so that says it all,” stated Carney, who added that the president also sent his pal Jeffrey a birthday card in the shape of a nude woman in which he talked about the “secret” the two of them shared and wrote that “enigmas never age.”

The prime minister noted that this “isn’t exactly subtle” and paints a damning picture, especially in light of the efforts Trump’s administration has undertaken to prevent the full disclosure of the Epstein files and the bizarre behavior the president is exhibiting with regard to anything related to his erstwhile buddy.

Therefore, Carney added, it is his responsibility to make sure that his country’s women understand the risks associated with Casa Epstein.

“While Canadians can make their own decisions regarding where they want to spend their money, we wanted to make sure that they know what they are getting into,” he stated.

Carney then signed a document directing his minister of the interior to “provide guidance to ensure all Federal Government references to Mar-a-Lago, including on executive department and agency maps, contracts, and other documents and communications, shall reflect its renaming.”

When asked whether this wasn’t a bit silly and a massive waste of taxpayer dollars, the prime minister noted that the name Mar-a-Lago doesn’t appear on all that many government documents.

“It’s not as though we are renaming a massive lake that both countries use,” he said.